....and we're back. Next caller...

It's been years since I've blogged. I've missed it.

In an effort to shake some major funk from my brain and heart that I've contracted during another sucky even-numbered year, I've decided to give it a go.

So. A bit of a level set...current state and all. Clear the slate to get y'all up to speed, and then we can get into the fun posts!

Even numbered years are cursed for me. I don't say this lightly. I'm not superstitious, but I heed the signs:

2012

• Grandmother dies.
• My cyberstalker goes completely mental and I seek legal action. 
• A good bit of my hair falls out from the stress.
• I single-handedly destroy what could have been a very solid, sweet and lasting romance with a dear, sweet fella and longtime friend because of my ineptitude and lack of self worth.

2014

• In an effort to save my sanity, I go completely no-contact with a close relative which ends up alienating me from all local relatives because North Dakota families are all-in for holidays and get-togethers. And because I can't see one, I'm unable to see the rest. 
• Ants invade my upstairs bathroom. 
• Another good bit of hair falls out from stress.
• I develop anemia because I am a fertile woman. (trust me, you don't need deets on this one)
• My dear, sweet fella and longtime friend from 2012 goes to sleep one night and doesn't wake up. The loss is unexpected and dark and presses on my heart.

2016

• I break up with a longtime friend. 
• I'm traveling so much for work I'm kenneling my sweet Ollie almost every other week.
• I develop severe anemia to the point I end up with walking pneumonia which lasts for two months.

2018

• My sweet Ollie dies in March. This loss is expected but breaks me.
• I am thrown into what I finally self-diagnose (and get professionally diagnosed) as depression from the loss. 
• My severe anemia is causing me to doze off in very odd places (in the shower and while driving).
• I struggle to breathe, to smile, to continue to live.

I drifted through the rest of March, April, May and June. I barely left the house save for work. In July I got a wake-up call that I needed to make some kind of change to jump-start my will to exist. I spit-shined my resume and got a brand-new job. I started doing yoga and am going all in. I'm still not getting out for fun as much as I'd like, but I'm getting there. Fall is my season and I am really trying to rally for the spooky events coming up. 

The other factor that is helping put me on the path is framily. In addition to my brother and friend Charles, I have a very solid support system who stepped up and stood by me. To me they will always be my sisters, while not by blood by love and light. 

I have goals now. I am finding the urgency to pursue and meet them. I'm excited to get back to being me.

Steady on.